What is it to feel this fear, this growing insanity? Can we prevent this, like nipping a budding cold? Yes there are some who claim they can help but in the long run is there really anyone who can control the mind of another? No, you have to first grant the permission for this to occur and succumb to the thoughts of another. Sever the bond that secures the mind to the soul. Does the heart really care about the deeds of the mind and soul? What about the soul? A rather selfish entity. It is the essence of who we are, therefore, am I selfish? I do not know, it is so much easier to not care, to just leave it to the spontaneity of cause and effect, maybe then pain will not roam free like a malignant cancer growing and growing, taking over our being.
A thunderous cloud hovers over us all, how can others not feel this fear, the impending insanity that accompanies life? Maybe its a punishment but its also ecstatic pain, a lust for life, a wanting to feel need for the pain. Maybe then we'll know that we are human after all and it gives us a need to care to believe. Karma or destiny whichever nomination you choose, gift or curse, I do not know but, it offers the being something tangible, to know to care to feel love and to give it, a narcissistic heart, an apathetic being, only wanting the joy for itself, a hunger to be known, to be loved or hated, the need for your presence, being to be acknowledged. I am telling you we all are selfish and maybe already feeling the treacherous bite of insanity.
To feel this lust, wanting the experience of it. A wild passion, knowing that you are on the fringe of insanity. Close enough to know the love of life but with the wisdom to accept the pain. We should envy those who already have crossed the line, broken the bond, succumbed to the lust and lure of the unknown. The unleashed mind in all its fury, thoughts roaming in eternity, a vast wilderness, where can we seek refuge from our own insanity? In the heavens, shall we hide, cower like a bird in a cage, or roam free like our minds with the madness to escape. I'll stop now and begin...
We can only feel happiness for a short time, the actual moment of joy or fleeting memories of pleasure from our past. They say that we must be content at all times, how can we feel the joys and pleasure that life offers if we cling to the bitter sweetness of pain and cruelty that we attach ourselves to and love more than the hedonistic things that we crave. Shall love flourish in this world where we only care about ourselves. Accepting one’s love is far less complicated than creating and sharing love with another. We are unable to trust. Love flourishes on trust so here we are presented with a cull de sac. I will tell my story now…
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