family chats

Tomorrow is thanksgiving so everyone is relaxed tonight, sitting together freezing watching the news. Suddenly my father decided to put in his part of the discussion. 'Ey allyuh guess what I have a collectible Quaker oats can!. Say what??????? I promptly spat out my diet mountain dew and laughed so hard that I almost choked. My mom looked as if she was going to pop (she was laughing so much) Why would I want an empty Quaker oats can even if it is collectible?

Oops I had completely forgotten to post this. Well the end of my four day weekend is here and I am actually on top of everything even though I wasted 3.5 days just chilling (trust me a much needed break from this world). I am slightly depressed by the realization that I must go into lab tomorrow. Maybe with my music and head banging knocked out a few screws from my head and transported me back to that period where I see myself standing at a great precipice. Problem is that I did step over that precipice and now I feel like a stranger looking at that girl who had made the wrong turn. I do not feel any connection to that girl. I guess that my apathy has spread to even my heart, where I do not experience actual emotions anymore. A long while ago I had embraced a resolution to not care about what the world thinks, so far this has kept me going strong, Although, sometimes I am pulled back into the smoldering cloud of society and I become disturbed by an opinion.
Sometimes I wonder about my sanity, I think that maybe I am slightly insane, and the incredible part about it is that I do not want to fix it. I am happy with the way I am.
I wonder what exactly happiness is. I do believe that I am happy, yet I can only experience an emotion for a short while and then like a whisper it disappears. I wonder what it would feel like to rise above everything else and be unaffected.
I do not know myself, and I do nott think that I would care to. Like a diamond, everyone sees a different face, yet it is essentially the same carbon core. We all put worth on a diamond why? Because it shines but what exactly is the purpose? The only useful doe not shine! I am an entity, but sometiwouldn't you just want to be a cloud of smoke? Not solid, not concrete, not bound to the ties of this world? So many ropes can tie a being down. When we want to think a thought why do we stop ourselves, when we want to write down that thought why we are then afraid ourselves?
Hmm I better wrap up this now and get back to the boring facets of reality.